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| Just in case you're not familiar with this menace. |
It's spring again! Which means that Easter is almost here! I know y'all are excited to celebrate one of the most joyous holidays of the year, but before we can celebrate, we need to address one major issue: the "Easter Bunny".
Every year, children across our beautiful America are haunted by this menace. The "Easter Bunny" has been toted as a symbol of our Glorious Easter Sunday celebrations, but why? Rabbits are not good Christians. They fornicate with no sense of self respect, they live in the dirt, and I certainly don't see them at church every Sunday, do you? To have a RABBIT as the mascot for our Holy Easter is SHAMEFUL. What exactly does this teach our children? To be polygamous? To live in the dirt instead of going to church? Have you ever noticed that the chocolate he hands out is in the shape of himself? This is a blatant call for cannibalism in our society, and I won't stand for it. The "Easter Bunny" has nothing good to teach our children, and is a false idol that should be BANNED IMMEDIATELY from our good Christian society. Easter is for remembering Jesus's resurrection, not celebrating large-eared, fluffy-tailed, suit-wearing rabbits. The "Easter Bunny" is not mentioned once in the Bible. The "Easter Bunny" and his sinful traditions need to be stopped before all children in America are doomed to Hell for following in his demonically large footsteps.
Join me in BANNING this MENACE, once and for all!
This other source has good information and raises good points, if you're looking for more proof that the "Easter Bunny" is evil.