Ban The Easter Bunny!!!

 

Just in case you're not familiar with this menace.

It's spring again! Which means that Easter is almost here! I know y'all are excited to celebrate one of the most joyous holidays of the year, but before we can celebrate, we need to address one major issue: the "Easter Bunny". 

Every year, children across our beautiful America are haunted by this menace. The "Easter Bunny" has been toted as a symbol of our Glorious Easter Sunday celebrations, but why? Rabbits are not good Christians. They fornicate with no sense of self respect, they live in the dirt, and I certainly don't see them at church every Sunday, do you? To have a RABBIT as the mascot for our Holy Easter is SHAMEFUL. What exactly does this teach our children? To be polygamous? To live in the dirt instead of going to church? Have you ever noticed that the chocolate he hands out is in the shape of himself? This is a blatant call for cannibalism in our society, and I won't stand for it. The "Easter Bunny" has nothing good to teach our children, and is a false idol that should be BANNED IMMEDIATELY from our good Christian society. Easter is for remembering Jesus's resurrection, not celebrating large-eared, fluffy-tailed, suit-wearing rabbits. The "Easter Bunny" is not mentioned once in the Bible. The "Easter Bunny" and his sinful traditions need to be stopped before all children in America are doomed to Hell for following in his demonically large footsteps.

Join me in BANNING this MENACE, once and for all!

This other source has good information and raises good points, if you're looking for more proof that the "Easter Bunny" is evil.

It's Officially Spooktember!

 It's Officially Spooktember... Here's How to Celebrate.

Labor Day has passed, and you can't wear white anymore. Y'alloween is just a month (and like 30 days) away. Which means.... It's Officially Spooktember! So how can you celebrate? Follow this guide to make sure you get the most out of the greatest season of the year*.

*I should say second-greatest season, as nothing can beat Jesus's birthday.

Image source: Homeyou

Stock up on the essentials, like hay bales, plastic gourds, and fake leaves to decorate your front porch to look more outdoorsy. Every time you step out your front door, it'll be like walking through a pumpkin patch.

Image source: me, photoshop.

Now that your front porch is all decked out, it's time to decorate the inside of your house. Spruce up your tables with cloths and runners in shades of orange and brown, and replace your old curtains with brown plaid ones for that farmhouse chic look. Remember those white rugs you bought at the beginning of summer? It's time to decorate those, too! Grab a big pot of gravy and dump it all over them to get that fab DIY tie-dye look. And of course, don't forget to fill up your couch with fun, fall-themed pillows!

Image source: Cider

With your house now in order, it's time to focus on yourself with a new fall wardrobe. This year, orange jumpsuits are all the rage. Head to your local TJ Maxx and fill up your closet with these fall essentials!

Image source: Oriental Trading Company

Remember what fall is all about, with fun seasonal toys and activities. Decorate pumpkins to shine with Jesus's light, adorn your door with fun homemade crafts celebrating the reason for the season, and play with toys reminding you that God loves you!

Now that you know how to have the best Spooktember ever, get out there and get started on making fall great again. 

Happy Spooktember!

-Adalynn

It's almost May... you know what that means!

 

Corn planting season is here!

It's almost May, and like many of y'all, I'm looking forward to October and Y'alloween season. Fall is the most wonderful time of the year (after Christmas of course). And what better way to celebrate fall than a corn maze? Now, if driving all the way out to a farm isn't your thing, that's okay! You can plant your own corn maze right at home. Here's how:

1. Mark the ground where you want your maze to be. Use chalk spray paint to make your design in your backyard, front yard, balcony, or wherever you want your corn maze to be. If you're not a fan of the outdoors, you can also put it in a place with lots of natural light, like a greenhouse or your garage if you leave the door open.

2. Plant your corn seeds. Farmer's Almanac suggests planting your corn 2 weeks after the last frost. That's a good tip to follow. However, they also say to leave 5-6" in between each seed, and that doesn't sound like it would make a good maze. Instead, plant about 1" apart to make sure you have a good solid wall of corn. 

3. Wait, and enjoy. Once it's planted, all you've got to do is wait! Water it well, and once Spooktember rolls around you'll have a cool corn maze, all for yourself and your friends!

Well, what are you waiting for? Head to your local seed store and get planting!

-Adalynn

Happy Y’alloween!

What is Y’alloween?

Y’alloween is a fun, Christian alternative to the archaic, rude, sin-promoting Satanic holiday, Halloween.

Rather than encouraging children to beg candy off strangers and promoting gluttony, Y’alloween helps teach our youth to appreciate American culture and history by celebrating the backbone of our nation, cowboys. By teaching our children about the greatest heroes of our country, we can instill some more family- and faith-friendly values. Y’alloween hopes to spread the word about the greatest men and women of the world such as Jesse James, Butch Cassidy, Pearl Hart, and other amazing and wonderful cowboys and gals. 

To teach your kids about Y’alloween, view the presentation here. 

To spread the word, you can print up the following flyer and post it around your community. 

Have a blessed day!